Driving in the Kingdom

Driving in Saudi Arabia is much like driving anywhere else in the World, in that a car moves along a road. Beyond this it differs greatly with what is familiar to you. 

Defensive driving is not only advised, it is required. People will make a left turn in front of you, which doesn't sound too bad until I finish my sentence with, from the very right lane. Red traffic lights appear more for decoration than any tangible purpose. Some cars will drive 200 kph while others will be going 40 kph on the same road. Cars pull out from side streets without looking and expect anyone in the way to move. Driving on a sidewalk or over bushes is fair game, even in little sedans. When they beach them on something they simply abandon it and get another one. 

You may think this is everything but I am barely getting warmed up. Maintenance is non existent. Cars will be driven with pieces falling off until they finally throw in the towel and disintegrate. Again the owner simply leaves it where it lies and gets another one. Abandoned cars on the road are a common sight. One might almost think they are sculptures put there on purpose. Tractor-trailers crab down the road and lean so heavily that you feel they will tip over and crush you if the slightest breeze kicks up. Ghost cars whoosh by in the night with no headlights, taillights, or lighting of any kind. 

Perhaps the reader will consider my observations complete at this point, but he will be mistaken. Every single Saudi is on the phone one hundred percent of the time. Sometimes talking or texting, but most of the time it is a combination of the two. This results in most cars driving down the road as a drunken sailor, only able to stay on the pavement by other drivers honking them into awareness enough to straighten them out for a few moments. 

Speed trap cameras have been installed at busy intersections to prevent such driving from happening. I can say that it works perfectly. These intersections are as tame as can be, though business as usual continues anywhere the cameras are not present. There have been protests saying that these devices are against Allahs will but the government stands by them. I guess the government is the same as every other, and believes in revenue first and foremost. 

Now most of my colleagues have a problem with this method or madness as you will, but me, well, I'm like a duck in water. I take to it perfectly. My car has two speeds, full ahead and full stop. If I miss my turn or where I want to go I simply stop and reverse through traffic. I make left turns from the right lane. I speed through red lights as I see fit. I straddle lanes, I swerve, I race, I do as I wish. The only part I don't participate in is using a phone while driving. Not because I'm uber safe but because I'm not important enough or have enough friends to always be on the phone. The result is that my colleagues are always in arguments and stressed driving while I consider it a fun and relaxing time. 

Be warned my friends. When you come to the Middle East, look left, then right, then left again, then up, down, left, and right before crossing the street. Then turn around and go back inside because it isn't worth the risk.